Irrelevant
by uzumaki rakku
Summary: My name is Uzumaki Naruto. I am willing to give my life for my village. What I feel is... irrelevant. Valley of the End battle. Character death. Oneshot, REPOSTED.


**A/N: My first Naruto fanfic. Hope you like it. Read and review! Thanks!**

**EDIT: I AM INSANE! Muahahaha... ._. [~refer to end A/N~]**

My name is Uzumaki Naruto. But hardly anyone really calls me that, it's either demon, monster, gaki, baka, dobe... Anyway, that is not important.

People see me as a ramen-loving, orange-clad, knuckleheaded fool, a failure who is also a Jinchuuriki. Nothing more. But that's not true. I am much more powerful than they think, but I just hide it well. Way too well. After all, foxes are masters of deception, are they not? But my power does not matter. _I_ do not matter.

I hid my pain, my suffering under the mask that I have so carefully constructed over the years. To the world, I was a loud, obnoxious, idiotic prankster. When I still lived in the orphanage, I couldn't comprehend why I was always beaten, always shunned, always given the barest minimum of what I needed to survive. Yes, survive. I tried to be good, to make them acknowledge me, to praise me, to see _me_. To stop calling me demon brat, to stop punishing me for crimes I did _not_ commit, to stop refusing to acknowledge my existence.

But all they see is Kyuubi.

Nothing worked. No matter how hard I tried to please, how hard I tried to make them like me, _nothing_ changed. They hated me, as they always have and always will - in fact, they seemed to hate me even _more_, saying that the demon was trying to trick them into a false sense of security so that _it_ could slaughter them all when they least expect it. Is it not intriguing, how they were _so_ good at coming up with scenarios of their own deaths?

Humans are strange beings indeed.

I was still seen as Kyuubi, not Naruto. Not _Naruto_. It was then, for the first ever time in my life, I... gave up. I gave up trying to be _good_ to get attention. I would not _try_ to gain attention, I would _force_ them to acknowledge my existence! Existence. Not life. No. Kyuubi was quite desperate to remain existing, while I wanted to truly _live_...

But how I feel is _of_ _no significance_.

I started the pranks when they kicked me out of the orphanage. Starting with simple pranks, my skill gradually increased from random buckets of water place over doors and glue on chairs, to painting the entire Hokage mountain... without being detected. I consider it my grandest prank yet. The Hokage monument was in plain view of the entire village, and not just any village, but a village of _shinobi_ and _kunoichi_, but I managed to pull it off without anyone noticing... until I burst out laughing.

After every prank came the chasing. I was chased by civilians, genin, chuunin, jounin and finally, ANBU. After being chased by ANBU, which was insanely amusing, I started to tone things down, so that chuunin could just manage to catch me. No reason to give them more things to hate the Kyuubi no Gaki for, anyway.

* * *

When Hokage-ojisan managed to _somehow_ get me a place in the Academy, I was overjoyed. I was going to learn how to become a ninja, I would become really powerful so no one would refuse to acknowledge me again! And most importantly, I would have a chance to make friends. ...Or at least, that was what I thought.

_A girl was crying while other kids laughed at her, making fun of her large forehead. A small boy with bright, hopeful blue eyes approached her slowly, stretching out a hand in a tentative attempt to make friends. The girl's head whipped up, and she glared at him. The other children noticed him too and started to jeer. The girl slapped his hand away, hissing out, "Keep away from me, monster!" He flinched away and started walking away._

_A voice called suddenly, "Hey, you, wait!" The boy stopped, heart beating faster as he turned around, hope shining in his eyes._

_A rock struck him in the forehead._

_The girl sneered. "Baka! You actually thought I would talk to _you_? Ha! You really are stupid."_

_The boy's eyes were blank, and he cast his eyes on the other children, and all he could see... were shadows of their parents' behaviour. The same cold angry eyes, the same hate, the same lies, the same mockery..._

_He ran, not noticing the tears which fell from his eyes as he ran blindly, only wishing to be away from all the hostility, the resentment, the pure _hate _that manifested itself in even the children. Somehow, he found himself at the Hokage monument, sitting atop the Yondaime's stone head. That was one of his few places of sanctuary, where he could find the reluctant peacefulness of solitude. _

_It was the first time he skipped class_.

On the next day, I saw her with the group of kids. Ah, seems like they had no problem at all getting along, after she had _impressed_ them by hurting the demon brat. How nice.

I can see through her façade of a model student. Her attempts to pretend to be "cute" to attract the _love of her life_ are simply... pathetic. Quite unfortunate, really, as I decided to model the idiotic "lovestruck" behaviour after hers. Acting the ultimate idiot was, well... you could say it was a challenge - and it was fun in a twisted, twisted way... but it became tiresome after a while. As did putting up with her. But I only smiled, and said, "Ohayo, Sakura-chan!"

* * *

I really wish I knew who my parents were. I have always wanted to know, ever since I was able to feel confusion at why everyone was so... hateful. It matter not whether my parents are dead or alive - or if even _they_ hated me so much they abandoned me. I just want to know. Before Mizuki's betrayal, I had always wanted to know just _what_ lay behind the barely veiled killing intent, the anger and the resentment and the scorn. And even earlier, when I was just a naïve, naïve child, I wondered why there was no one to shield me from the world. I wondered, and questions became demands and I almost _screamed_ at the world to give me a father, a mother. I would stare at the crowds, and think that maybe one face, just _one_ face, would bear the love and warmth of a family. I would hope that one person would stand out from the faceless masses, and their face would break into a warm smile, their hand would reach out, for me. Just for me.

I was such a selfish child. I wanted that person to stay with me, every day, every hour, every minute and every second just for me. I just wanted to have one person to care for me and shield me. Sometimes, in a sudden spike of greed, I wanted to have _two_ people to be there for me. Mother, Father. Parents. But none ever came, though Hokage-ojisan tried to help, he had his duties to the village. Yet not even he could tell me who my parents were and why they were _gone_, why I was the only orphan out there with a family name, and unknown parents. If I have a family name, then I must have had a family, right? Then why? What happened to the _family_ I must have once had? Why are they gone? Are they really dead as I have been told so many, _too_ many times?

I want the truth. The truth behind my parentage, the truth behind my existence. Even if the truth will probably hurt. But that's nothing to me. I am used to pain. It's nothing.

Really.

_He stared up at the sky, watching the stars that seemed to hold some great secret, but refused to tell. He was in the forest again, having barely escaped another mob. It was that day again, the tenth of October. Hokage-ojisan had told him that it was his birthday. He had been puzzled, and asked the old man what a birthday was._

_"Your birthday is they day you were born into this world. Birthdays are celebrated by throwing a party for the person. Friends and family gather together to celebrate and give the birthday person presents."_

_"But why would people want to celebrate the day someone is born?"_

_"Because they are glad that he or she is born. And I am glad you were born, Naruto."_

_Naruto smiled at the memory, then winced when he accidentally reopened the huge gash across his face. At least his more severe wounds were healing._

_'Tou-sama, kaa-sama, are you - no, were you glad I was born? Why did you leave me? Did you hate me too?'_

_..._

_'Did my parents ever love me?'_

* * *

When I noticed a resemblance between myself and the Yondaime - the same spiky and wild blond hair and blue eyes - I was overjoyed. Not because I thought I was related to him or something ridiculous and unthinkable like that - how can the _infamous_ Kyuubi no Gaki have anything to do with the greatest Hokage ever lived? - I was simply glad to look just a _little_ bit like my idol. He was willing to give his life to protect his village, and for that I truly respect and admire him. I just hope I would be able to do the same one day. Since no one cared if I lived, maybe they will actually be happy if I died. But I do _not_ want to die for no reason. I want to die to protect my village. Like Yondaime-sama, like Sandaime-ojisan. My own life is of no significance. All that matters is the village. Not even the fact that the entire village _hates_ my guts (even literally!) can affect my decision.

I dream of becoming Hokage. Even if only for a second, I will be content. I will be content as long as I can give my life to protect my village as its Hokage. I dream of being just a tiny bit, just that tiny-little-_desperate_-hopeful bit like the Yondaime. I was entrusted to keep Kyuubi (the furball) off their backs and keep everyone safe, by my _dear_ village's very own Yondaime Hokage. So I must make sure I do that... since for _some_ reason Yondy thought I was the kid (baby) for the job. Maybe I just looked like him and he thought I would be nice enough to make sure Kyuubi stays harmless to Konoha, by all means and methods necessary? Still, I want to have something in common with Yondaime-sama, _other_ than looking like him a little (or a lot). Even if the thing I have in common with him is how I die - protecting the village. Maybe I can somehow die sealing Kyuubi... again? Though that would be rather unlikely... how exactly can I learn the scary-complicated-secret jutsu to do that anyway... (and Sandaime-ojisan already did that. I like originality...) Oh well, it seems like I will not be able to die that way. How sad.

Even so, if I die, Kyuubi dies, and everyone will be glad that it's gone. That I'm gone. Dead. No longer there to dangle the threat of Kyuubi in front of them and taunt them with my very existence. And that will be really great! Because then everyone will be safe and Kyuubi will never be able to harm them. Not again. Don't you think that's such a _wonderful_ thing?

* * *

If, - no - _when_ I die, I wonder if anyone will miss me. Well maybe Iruka-sensei will. I may not have a family, but he is more than enough. He saved my life at the risk of his _own_, and I want to do that for him some day. At least he'll no longer have me pestering him to treat me to ramen...

Will Kakashi-sensei miss me? I doubt it. He's got Sasuke to train, after all. And speaking of Sasuke...

Nah, the teme definitely won't care if I'm gone. He's way to busy with training to get stronger to _avenge his clan_. I envy him. The whole village treats him like a prince, he has dozens of fangirls chasing after him (though just _how_ is this enviable?), he is training with _the_ famous/infamous Sharingan no Kakashi... and goodness knows what else. Yet I kind of pity him too. He knows nothing but hate and revenge, he doesn't get a chance to really live. I've never known what it is like to lose everything, since I've always had nothing. Surely it hurts less to have nothing...?

Sakura-chan won't even notice. She'll be _way_ too busy chasing after her precious _Sasuke-kun_. She didn't even acknowledge that I was the one who defeated Gaara for her. All she cares about is Sasuke. She even called him _modest_ for saying that it was me who beat Gaara! But I made my promise to her, and I intend to keep it. My own feelings are beside the point.

I guess Gaara won't miss me, though I'll miss him. He's the only one who truly understands how I feel, a kindred spirit in a sense. I hope he's not so lonely anymore, at least he has siblings, even if they are rather (very!) terrified of him. Hope he patches things up with them, I'd treasure _any_ family I have.

Maybe Hinata will miss me? She's always been so quiet... but she's the only girl who would be nice to me and never went chasing after Sasuke. She also gave that ointment, which is really great! She's a very nice person, and really strong too. _"I never go back on my word, because that, too, is my nindo."_ Does she really believe in my nindo? I kind of wish I got to know her better... I didn't approach her at the Academy because the Hyuuga who always came to pick her up would glare at me if I tried to do so and then he would glare at her as well. At least Neji doesn't hate her anymore. But I think it does not matter, she should not depend on someone like _me_ to find strength to fight. Neji is strong, he can help her. If I am gone, maybe he will try to be nicer to her, and family should stick together, should they not? (Though I wouldn't know...)

Tsunade-obaachan and Ero-Sennin. I don't know if they'll be sad I'm gone. Tsunade-obaachan's always shouting at me to stop calling her that. But it's nice to pretend that I actually have family...

Ero-Sennin will probably be glad I'm no longer there to ruin his "research" again and again... and again. I wonder if he cares about me... he did throw me off a cliff after all, though it was very good training in the end. And he taught me the Rasengan, my most favourite jutsu ever and the _Yondaime_'s very own original jutsu...

* * *

"CHIDORI!"

"RASENGAN!"

Naruto slammed his Rasengan into Sasuke's cursed seal, completely obliterating it while his other hand grabbed Sasuke's elbow and pulled. He smiled when he saw the shock on his best friend's face as both boys immediately reverted back to their original appearance.

"Naruto..." Sasuke stared at Naruto's hand, still firmly grasping his elbow, in a mixture of disbelief and horror. Naruto, still smiling, looked down at the arm which had pierced his chest all the way through.

"You're... strong... Sasuke-teme... Don't leave... K-konoha... Don't join... Orochi...maru... There are... others... who c-can... train y-you... C-consi...der this... y-your friend's last... request..." he coughed, a mixture of blood and... chakra?! splattering onto Sasuke's arm.

"Naruto! No - you – what... Why?! No, dammit... _Naruto!!!_"

"There... I g-gave you... the power... y-you wanted... Now... you c-can avenge... your clan..." Everything was fading, even the pain was beginning to lessen. He could hear Kyuubi shrieking in terror and fury as it slammed against the bars of its cage, but it was too late... not even Kyuubi's chakra can regrow a heart in time, a heart completely _ripped apart_ and _destroyed_ via Chidori...

It was truly Kakashi's most powerful _assassination _technique, he mused.

"Take care... teme..."

**_"NARUTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"_**

I smile, a little. So teme actually cares. That is... unexpected, but... kind of nice too. At least I can die knowing that people _do_ care.

I will miss all of them so very, very much, but it doesn't matter. I have done what I always wanted to do, I have chosen how I am going to die, and what I feel... is... simply...

_Irrelevant_...

**A/N: Well? Liked it, hated it? Review please! I MAY make this into a longer fic which involves Naruto coming back to life still having Kyuubi's power while Kyuubi is dead. Anyone wants to adopt?**

**EDIT: Some of the sentences were childish and the structure and transitions etc a bit awkward, so I edited it. Hope it's better now! I don't know about the ending part, I hope it was satisfactory :/ I must be crazy, updating in the middle of end-of-year exams... Oh well! Anyway, hope you like it! I promise to make this a longer fic in the future, and also update Dear Weird Book after exams! THANK YOU MY DEAR READERS AND REVIEWERS! ^^**

**ANOTHER EDIT:**

**I only just realised that how Naruto died by purposefully impaling himself on Sasuke's Chidori is very, _very_ similar to how Yahiko purposefully impaled himself on Nagato's kunai. And I swear it wasn't intentional! Since this fanfic was written loooooooong before that chapter came out. Still, it's creepy... And kinda cool too. I always wanted to do those noble characters who commit suicide to save others. It's just so, so tragic... And I've also wanted to do some come-back-from-death situations after the noble suicide as well.**

**Maybe I'm just sappy and sentimental xD, but I've always loved those stories in which you desperately want the protagonist to live, but he/she sacrifices himself/herself for others, then finally I always want them to return to life. Irrelevant was meant to be a tragedy fic, partly because I'm a sucker for tragedies and that I really have no confidence with my fanfic-writing skills, thus it was just a oneshot. But I've always wanted to continue it someday, and make Naruto return from death.**

**I want to portray the terror and confusion of death, as Naruto really desperately wants to live deep inside. He's been ignoring that in favour of his friends, who are most precious to him. I want to show their horror when they see that he's dead, the loss of hope, guilt, and so on...**

**--Rairakku**


End file.
